Same Shirt Different Day

I really thought I had all my disorders in order. I wrote a list. Having recently cured myself of a variety of woes, I really believed that the following list was all I had to worry about. I almost laminated it.

• Personal Temperature Control Disorder
• Eating For All The Hungry Ghosts Of The World Syndrome 
• Doorknobs That Don't Work Syndrome
• Everything Has A Hole In It Problems
• Dark Shuffling Slippers Only Depression 
• Deer In Headlights Face
• Pants Being Eaten By Thighs Disorder
• Driving Issues Out The Wazoo
• Imaginary Anaphylaxis 
• Tear Duct Overflow System Failure
• Foot In Mouth Syndrome
• Thinking Problems
• Hugging Tic
• Overthinking Problems
• Skin Pickery 
• Laundry Sisyphus Syndrome
• Ant Bite Meltdowns
• Meat Death Sensitivity
• Wondering If I Really Have Overthinking Problems Or Was That Just A Stupid Thing To Say Problems
• Mirror Confusion
• Stuck In Couch Complex
• Worst Case Scenario Envisioning
• Murderer Paranoia With Proof  
• Shady Shit Magnetism
• Trust Issues
• Hairbrush Displacement
• Political Disassociation
• Peripheral Vision Dead Kangaroo Syndrome
• Elevator Inappropriotus 
• Internal Organs Doing Impossible Things Fantasia
• and Im a Little Afraid of Germs

And I THOUGHT that was it. I thought...How many more issues can One person have. I have exhausted myself with my own issues. Surely this is all I get. But no. No, I woke up with a new one a few months ago, in the form of shirts. And by shirt, I mean the upper portion of my clothing system that covers my torso. This could be any sort of top portion clothes: dresses, aprons, sweaters, sometimes just ripped pieces of fabric that I wrap around myself like a mummy.

I discovered that I am ONLY comfortable wearing what I wore yesterday. The implications of this are tremendous. Imagine for a moment that you could only wear what you wore yesterday? Would you even have any friends left? maybe tomorrow...but what about a week from now?

Sometimes I get stuck in my shirt for so long, when I put it on in the morning I say hello to it, like it's a coworker. "Hey there, how ya doing" I say casually to my own shirt.

Interestingly I have found I am not alone in this phenomenon. Tons of people I have learned, also get stuck in their shirt. There is something wonderful about yesterdays smells and shapes and feels. It is familiar and trustworthy. You know it fits. You recognize yourself in the mirror.

The problem is this. If a shirt is too particular or recognizable, you seem gross.

Which led me to to design this new shirt.

NOT the same shirt you wore yesterday!

I have drawn the conclusion: That the best way to wear what you wore yesterday, Is to INSIST that it is a different shirt. And might I suggest purchasing a few of them. Available Here.

*Also great for family picnics so that everyone doesn't look the same.